Why run this back?
Why stop mid life pivot?
Why keep on keepin’ on… picking up where I left off… tryin’ to build a shoe company in an unapologetic and uncompromising way? At a time and place, when literally every odd is stacked against it?
Just when the confusingly tangled web of life and business… head and heart… identity and purpose… was beginning to unwind in earnest, what the fuck am I doing jumping back into this well-worn saddle? Is this helping or hindering my healing? Is this furthering along, or stopping the process of truly moving forward?
I’m not sure to be honest.
I lost myself in this once.
When we first started down this path, everything was new. Nothing was precious just yet. There was never a plan – the journey was the point. But then, somewhere along the way, we lost the plot. We lost ourselves. We lost everything we thought we were working so hard to build. We just hadn’t realized it yet.
In early 2020, when the world stopped to take a breath, we found ourselves past the point of no return. Sadly, we realized that in focusing our everythings on our lil’ baby of a business for so… fucking… long, at some point we’d managed to break beyond repair. The toughest of long overdue tough talks were had, which was the beginning of what would turn out to be a three-year process of untethering, and trying to find a way forward.
In September 2023, I finally managed to say goodbye for the final time (after more than a few failed attempts) and there was some closure in that.
When you love something so much it becomes your everything, that’s a problem. It turns out the sacrifices you willingly make are important (some might say essential) when it comes to brand building, but in the end, is the cost worth it? To literally give up everything else in pursuit of building one… beautiful… thing? I’ve lived enough life now, in and out of a vacuum, to say no, I don’t think so. But I wouldn’t change a thing – the life I’ve lived has made me the person I am today, and I feel so very grateful for so much. But if I’m to do this again, I can’t afford to dedicate an entire life to it. I honestly don’t think I’d make it out alive.
It's such a rare and special opportunity to be given the chance to do something again. To do your life’s work over. With the hardest of hard lessons learned in the bank, and the direction, focus, and intent you always wish you had if it wasn’t for the messiness of life always seemingly getting in the way… of what could be.
It's taken me a lifetime to figure this out. But I think… to live and love more, you need to love some things… just a little bit less.
Wish me luck.
Joshua
The Loveless Boot Company (formerly Love Jules Leather)